Evil Matchmaking Bunny
by itachiluvr
Summary: On her innocent stroll through the forest Sakura finds a bunny, little does she know this isn't your ordinary bunny, looks like Sasuke's getting a little Jealous. SasuSaku
1. Chapter 1

Evil Matchmaking Bunny

Pt 1 SasuSaku

Sasuke glared at the bunny innocently munching on a carrot, surrounded by chew toys. He hated that bunny. The bunny who was stealing all of Sakura's attention from him, and how hot and smexy he was. Sakura had found the bunny while taking a walk in the forest, now it had become her world.

Sasuke was currently sitting on the couch, in his living room of his house. Sakura and Naruto had gone to get some food and left him here to baby-sit the dumb thing. Getting thirsty Sasuke got up and turned to walk to the kitchen.

'Thump.'

Sasuke stopped in his tracks as he was hit with something… hard. He looked towards the weapon, a chew toy. With his glare at full force he turned to the bunny… who was still eating his carrot. He eyed the bunny suspiciously. 'No' he thought, 'it couldn't be.' He turned around to the kitchen.

'Thump.'

Again he was hit, he wiped around to the bunny.

"That's it," he growled to the bunny. "Stop that." He demanded, just to get a toy to the face

"This means WAR!!!" Sasuke roared.

He attacked with his Fire Ball Jutsu. The bunny got up and dodged Matrics Bunny Style. After his dodge the bunny cart wheeled to the side and charged at Sasuke. Sasuke grabbed the bunny by the ears and would have slammed it into the wall if the door hadn't opened.

"Sasuke!" Sakura cried. She was standing at the door, holding the food, next to Naruto. Sakura dumped the food in Naruto's arms and snatched the bunny from Sasuke hands.

"How could you attack a defenseless animal?!" She shouted.

"B-But," Sasuke began completely embarrassed, he could just here the Headlines for the Newspaper 'The Lasts Uchiha Finally Cracks'.

"What's he ever done to you?" She snapped. "Attack you with his chew toys?"

"But the bu-" Sasuke started, the irony damn it!

"Save it for your fangirls Sasuke." Sakura hissed, walking out of the living room holding a smug bunny. Naruto set the food on the coffee table.

"How the mighty hath fallen." Naruto said patting Sasuke on the shoulder and went to calm Sakura down. Leaving Sasuke gaping like a demented chipmunk on crack.

Hey peoples I know this is short but this is just Ch.1 so ye of little faith have no fear for the chappies will get longer! This is for you Suki-chan!


	2. Chapter 2

Hey peoples here's the new chappy! Thanks so much for the reviews they were very inspiring!!

Last time on Evil Matchmaking Bunny:

"How the mighty hath fallen." Naruto said patting Sasuke on the shoulder and went to calm Sakura down. Leaving Sasuke gaping like a demented chipmunk on crack.

PRESENT TIME

Saying the air was tense as the team ate dinner was an understatement, Naruto doubted he could cut the air with a butcher knife. Naruto was sitting at the head of the table while Sakura and Sasuke were off to the sides, the bunny, who Sakura has named Mr. Fuz, sat in her lap. Sasuke glared at the bunny.

"What a nice supper we're having," Naruto chuckled weakly, rubbing the back of his head with his hand, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah," Sasuke huffed with a sneer, "but I hear rabbit tastes delicious."

Sakura kicked him in the shin with a chakra enforced foot.

"OW!" Sasuke exclaimed, he glared at Sakura. "What the Hell was that for!?"

"You should know you Chicken Assed Bunny Bully!!" Sakura accused.

"What did you just call me?" Sasuke growled standing up from the table, Sakura stood with him.

"Are you DEAF?! I CALLED you a CHIKEN ASSED BUNNY BULLY!!!" Sakura all but screamed.

"Fine if THAT'S how you feel you can just GO HOME!!" Sasuke bellowed. Sakura stood up and grabbed Mr. Fuz.

"FINE I WILL!!!"

"FINE!!"

Sakura slammed the door to Sasuke's house, pictures and nick-knacks falling off the walls with the force. Sakura then stomped all the way home mumbling about "bunnies" and "half-assed Uchiha's"

Sasuke gave the innocent door an Ultra-Uchiha glare and through a plate full of food at it.

"Was that really necessary?" Naruto asked staring at the food that now decorated Sasuke's floor.

"Did you see the way she talked to me?" Sasuke snapped. "Why isn't she mad at the bunny?! He started it!"

Naruto sighed.

"You know Sasuke admitting you have a problem is the first step." The demon-carrier dodged a fork. "O.k., O.k., I know when I've overstayed my welcome."

Before Naruto closed the door he looked at Sasuke.

"Oh, and Sasuke, Its called anger-management!"

Hey peoples I know there wasn't a lot of Bunny Action, but there will in the next Chappy see ya!


	3. Chapter 3

Hi!! Thank you my readers!! It's so nice to get so many reviews sobs THANK YOU!!!

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Last time on Evil Matchmaking Bunny:

Before Naruto closed the door he looked at Sasuke.

"Oh, and Sasuke, Its called anger-management!"

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Sasuke was floating in the world of unconsciousness when loud buzzing sound reached his ear. He shot up from the bed and clicked his lamp on, there at the foot of his bed was….

…MR. FUZ WITH A BLOODY CHAINSAW!!!!!!!!!!...

….and fashionable pair of goggles….

To Sasuke's unimaginable horror the bunny's lips pulled into a malicious psychotic grin.

"Foolish Otouto"

Sasuke awoke with a start. He stared around his room like a drunken tuna fish on marijuana. What the HELL was that?? Now he couldn't even SLEEP without being tortured by that evil rabbit?! Sasuke glared at his clock, it was 6:00 o' clock; he stared at it blankly. Why did It feel like he was forgetting something?

FLASHBACK:

_Kakashi stared at team 7 dully "O.k. guys good job, meet here at 5 o' clock, okay, good."_

PRESENT:

Sasuke blinked once

Twice.

Three times.

Then realization hit him like a slap to the face.

HOLLY SHIT!! He was late to training!!

BRIDGE:

Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi were waiting. "Waiting for who?" someone might ask, well Sasuke. Now any normal ninja would probably laugh his ass off and say "The Uchiha, no way!" But it was times like these Naruto felt the strangest urge to call Ripley's Believe it or Not.

Sakura bit her lip; despite her fight with Sasuke she was kinda worried about his health, especially his _mental_ health. She looked at Mr. Fuz, who she decided to take on the mission with her, and sighed.

"Do you think I should go look for him?" She asked Mr. Fuz, The bunny stared at Sakura and blinked cutely.

Suddenly the Uchiha appeared in the distance running like Satan himself was t trying to feast upon his soul and looking VERY unUchiha-ish. He came to a halt at the Bridge.

"Sasuke?" Sakura asked timidly putting a hand on Sasuke's forehead. "Are you feeling O.K?"

"Yes, why woul--," Sasuke paused mid-sentence and glared Death at the Bunny who had claimed his place in Sakura's arms. How DARE that bunny get held in Sakura's arms without his permission.

"What the hell is that bunny doing here?" Sasuke growled.

Sakura scowled; trust Sasuke to ruin a civil conversation.

"I can bring him if I _want_ to bring him, chicken ass" Sakura snapped.

"Oh very matured Sakura," Sakura retorted.

"OH YA!" Sakura spat back.

"YA!" Sasuke yelled.

Naruto watched as the argument heated up, and looked back and forth between Sasuke and Sakura, wasn't it his job to fight with Sasuke? He tsked, they are SO into each other, but SERIOUSLY things were getting out of control, AND WHY WASN'T KAKASHI HELPING DAMN IT!!!!!

FINE he was gonna do this HIS way!

"SHUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Naruto Screeched at the top of his lungs.

Sakura and Sasuke looked at Naruto, surprised and even Kakashi was startled out of his reading and flickered his gaze to Naruto, a very angry Naruto, who's eyes were crimson and had angry red chakra swirling around him.

"Now you two will STOP FIGHTING and we're are going to COMPLETE THIS MISSION LIKE A REAL FUCKING TEAM, DO. I. MAKE. MY-SELF. CLEAR!!!!!" Naruto howled like a PMSing pregnant woman.

Sasuke and Sakura let out an undignified "SQUEE" and shook their heads vigorously and the great Copy Cat Kakashi dropped his Icha-Icha paradise book.

"O.K.!" Naruto cheered happily throwing his fists up in the air. "Let's Go!"

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Yay I'm done with chapter 3!! Please review and share your opinions! Any flames will be used to cook my ramen!


	4. Chapter 4

Hi my faithful readers, I apologize for how long it has taken me to write this chappy (minor writers-block) THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND ENCORAGEMENT!!!!!!(Sobs dramatically)!

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Last time on Evil Matchmaking Bunny:

"O.K.!" Naruto cheered happily throwing his fists up in the air. "Lets go!"

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Somewhere in the forest

Sakura glared at the ground. Why did Sasuke have to be so damn RUDE! All she did was bring Mr. Fuz along on the mission and Sasuke yells at her…..

……..Wait a second where WAS Mr. Fuz. Sakura looked around in a panic. Oh this was just GREAT first Sasuke and her get in a fight (again) and then Mr. Fuz disappears.

Sakura bit her lip and eyed the foreboding trees and brush of the forest off the trail she and her team was traveling down. She gazed back to the rest of team 7. They wouldn't notice if she were gone, would they? Sakura made her way off the trail intent on finding her missing bunny. Besides it would only take a minute….. right?

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Sasuke was NOT a happy camper, not at all. It's not like he meant to upset Sakura, it wasn't even his fault!! It was that conniving little bunny, ruining all of his chances with Sakura. Sasuke sighed mentally, maybe he should (he scowled) apologize. He thought about it and then smirked smugly; ya that'll show Sakura just how mature he was and she'll ditch that dumbass "Mr. Fuz."

He steeled himself and turned around when he realized… Sakura wasn't there. He stopped and looked around, gaping like a pregnant donkey on steroids. Why hadn't he notice her absence?!

"Kakashi-sensei, Naruto!" Sasuke called. "Where's Sakura!"

They stopped and gazed back at Sasuke, Kakashi cocked an eyebrow.

"Wasn't she walking with you, Sasuke, ooh don't tell me the bunny took her," Kakashi teased ruthlessly. Naruto sighed from the back round as he watched Sasuke draw a kunai from his pouch and give Kakashi the "Evil Eye." Why did he have to play the role of the peace-maker today?

"Hey I got a great Idea," Naruto spat sarcastically, tired of all the bad karma that seemed to be rubbing off on him. "Why don't we go LOOK for her!"

"Hnn," Sasuke scoffed, giving Kakashi one last glare before going down the trail on his search for Sakura.

'Now off to find my future wi- um I mean… Sakura.'

So he looked…. and looked….. and…..

Where the hell was that girl! Sasuke sneered at the forest around him when he burst into a clearing. He looked around and sighed, maybe Naruto and Kakashi had better luck. Then, near the back of the clearing, the brush rustled.

Sasuke eyes scanned the bush as he crept to the center of the clearing.

"Sakura?"

But alas it was not Sakura; it was, Sasuke gasped in horror…..

……...MR. FUZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The bunny was grinning maliciously as he walked ominously into the clearing. He had war paint smeared on his fuzzy cheeks, and…. WAS HE CARRYING A BONE?!!

Yes, the once innocent looking bunny was carrying a femur bone twice his size, he glared at Sasuke and pointed the big bone at him.

"OO-KAH OO-KAH!!!!!!!" The bunny cried.

Rustling in the trees caused Sasuke to look up just to come face to face with EVIL DEMENTED SQUIRRLS!!!!!!!!!

...Who just happened to be in possession of VERY, BIG, ACORNS!!!!

No. Fucking. Way

Sasuke gaped like a dying codfish on cocaine, vaguely realizing he was surrounded by blood-lusting insane squirrels. God if he was going to survive this he would NEVER eat meat AGAIN.

"OO-KAH OO-KAH!!!!!!!!!!!" The squirrels echoed after the crazed bunny. They aimed their projectiles at Sasuke, who was too busy gazing into the face of death.

They attacked.

Mr. Fuz smirked.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And, sadly, this time… it wasn't a dream.

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That's it for now peoples, thank you for all your kind reviews it's always good to know that my writing is appreciated. Review please!!!!!!!


	5. Chapter 5

Hello my readers! I don't know about you but my life's been HELL! Life is great ain't it wonderful. THANK YOU ALL FOR REVIEWING!!!!! I absolutely ADORE getting reviews THANK YOU!

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IMPORTANT NOTE: Readers this is a warning to you all. I'm telling you if you like your straight pairings like SasuSaku NaruHina and all that other great stuff DO NOT I repeat DO NOT venture to the favorites in my profile they are pure all yaoi, every single fic. So if you happen to be homophobic and stuff like that don't go to my profile. And if you have a negative opinion on yaoi DON'T YOU DARE!!! FLAME ME! And preach about religion. I sincerely apologize to my readers for burdening you guys with this.

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Again I sincerely apologize to all the readers and authors that have been kind to me. That note is not meant as an insult. But I did, however, receive a nasty e-mail regarding the matter by a rather rude and insensitive person. And while I won't name anybody I am clearly upset, I can take constructive criticism, but I won't stand for pointless flaming.

…………………...Last time on Evil Matchmaking bunny…………………………………

They attacked.

Mr. Fuz smirked.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And, sadly, this time… it wasn't a dream.

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Sakura groaned as tears of frustration clouded her vision. How long had she been looking for that darn rabbit? She sighed helplessly, maybe she should just turn back.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Unexpectedly, a mind shattering, blood-curdling, girlish screech rang through out the forest. She gasped, why did that voice sounded so familiar….

…… Holly Mother of all that is shiny, it hit her…. That was Sasuke….

Sakura dashed past the blurring trees as she ran towards the direction of Sasuke shriek. The only other time she heard him scream like that, was when he saw Gai-sensai in a bikini. What happened to Sasuke anyways, was he attacked by enemy nin? Did he fall off a cliff? DID HE FIND OROCHIMARU BELLY-DANCING?!!!!!!

Sakura grimaced at the mental image that presented itself in her mind. Then, she burst into a clearing, she gasped at the shocking sight before her. There was Sasuke, unconscious on the forest ground in all his swirly eyed glory.

Oh dear, Sakura made her way slowly to Sasuke. What was she supposed to do now, poke him with a stick? So she did, he grunted. Sakura dropped Mr. Pokey and breathed a sigh of relief. She knelt down near the Uchiha and laid him on his back. Well, at least he was breathing.

She gently moved Sasuke onto her lap to cushion his head, convincing herself that he didn't need any more brain damage than he already had. She bit her lip; she should really wake him up now. But, selfishly, she didn't want to, the only time Sasuke ever seemed remotely nice was when he was asleep.

But it was right then Sasuke decided to wake up.

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Sasuke groaned slowly floated on to his way to consciousness. He frowned, why was he so comfy, the last thing he even remembered was…. Oh god….

"THE SQIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLSS!!!" He cried, his eyes jumped open and he flew into a sitting position, just to come face to face with…. Sakura.

"Sakura?" When did she get here? He scanned the area carefully; this wasn't another trick from that bastard bunny was it?

Sakura firmly pushed Sasuke to the floor.

"Sasuke I really think that you should lay down." Sakura advised, vaguely wondering what the hell Sasuke meant by "The Squirrels." But Sasuke wasn't listening he was to busy realizing how close Sakura and he were. His eyes were glued to her full luscious lips.

All he had to was lean in a little bit more and he could capture those lips. Slowly both their heads crept closer. Sakura blushed hotly; Sasuke must have hit his head pretty hard. And then when their lips were but a hairs breath away….

…. NARUTO BASHED INTO THE CLEARING!!!!!!

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And that's the ending to the fifth chappy so if ya want ta find out what the heck happens next REVIEW!!!!!!!!


	6. Chapter 6

Muahahahahahahahahahahahaha I'm baaaaaack!!!!!!! Thank you for all your reviews!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!! And just too clear things up…. THIS WILL REMIAN SASUSAKU!!!!!!

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Last time on Evil Matchmaking Bunny:

…. NARUTO BASHED INTO THE CLEARING!!!!!!

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Naruto froze in his steps at the sight before him. His eyes bulged from their sockets and his jaw dropped to the floor.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SASUKE DON'T RAPE SAKURA!!!!!!!!!!" Naruto cried.

Sasuke and Sakura jumped away from each other, blushing all the way from head to tow.

Sakura sputtered indignantly.

"I got to go!" She yelped strutting angrily out of the clearing.

She stomped through the forest. What the heck was that all about? Was Sasuke gonna kiss her? Sakura shook her head and frowned, she shouldn't be thinking about this right now she had a bunny to find.

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Sasuke watched Sakura leave, dumbfounded.

HE WAS SOO CLOSE!!!

So painfully close, then Naruto RUINED IT!!! He turned to Naruto, sneering.

"S-Sasuke you feeling ok" Naruto asked timidly. "H-Hey w-why are your sharingon(sp) spinning?"

"Naruto" Sasuke growled, he pulled out a kunai and pointed it at said blonde, "Run"

…

….

…..

"KAKASHI-SENSEIIIIIIIIII SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

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Sasuke humphed and dusted off his hands. That'll show the dobe what happens when you mess with an Uchiha. Sasuke scanned the forest around him, now it's time to find Sakura.

Hmmm…. What would he say?

'Hey Sakura, I think your hot, you think I'm hot, let's go to my house and make like rabbits.' (If you catch my meaning.)

What a minute… the bunny! Where did that evil atrocious Mr. Fuz hop off to? Sasuke's eyes narrowed and he took out a kunai.

IT'S TIME TO END THIS!!!!!!!

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a/n: And that's a rap people, sorry it was so short. So review if ya want ta find out what's gonna happen. THANK YOU, NOW REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	7. Chapter 7

HEY GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so sorry it took me so damn long to update the story. I just couldn't think of any ideas for this chappy. But now I have an idea, so here I am, sitting in Mc Donald's (what, can't a girl eat) typing the next chappy. But enough about me and on with the story!!!!!!!!!!!!!

………………………………………Sakura's Pov…………………………………

"NOOOOOOOOO MR. FUUUUUUUUUZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Sakura stared in unadulterated horror as….

Wow… Wait a second! When the hell did THIS happen!? Ah here we are…

…...

Sakura was so freaking mad. She was so over looking for that damn bunny. She looked everywhere and was VERY close to throwing a fit. Come on, all she wanted was her bunny back.

Rusting in the bush next to her caught Sakura's attention. She drew a kunai and was about to chuck it at the bush, when Mr. Fuz's "innocent" face popped out.

"Mr. Fuz," she gasped in surprise. Then, after breathing a sigh of relief, glared at Mr. Fuz.

"Where have you been?! I've been looking all over for you, bad bunny!" She said, wagging her finger at Mr. Fuz. Mr. Fuz looked at Sakura, she could've sworn he winked, before he turned tail and darted off in the opposite direction.

Sakura stood there flabbergasted…. Did that bunny just….?

"WAIT, GET BACK HERE!!!"

She charged after the bunny.

………………………………………...With Sasuke………………………………………………...

Sasuke glared at the vegetation around him, that bunny was SO dead when he found it. Where was the little bastard anyways…. Oh god now he was sounding like Naruto….

Suddenly a flash of white past under his legs, before he could even comprehend what the freak was happening; he was bashed to the ground

With the breath literally knocked out of him all he could do was stare as the color pink filled his vision.

"Sakura?" He wheezed. Then, he realized their position; Sakura was on his stomach, with her lips deadly close to his. All the blood in his head flew down South.

Sakura stared down at the Uchiha and blushed in embarrassment.

Awkward Silence….

'Damn it Uchiha this is your chance!!' A voice, sounding suspiciously like Kakashi, echoed in his head.

He rushed into action; he pecked Sakura on the lips with a chaste kiss, stood, grabbed Sakura, and threw her over his shoulder.

"What the hell Sasuke!!" Sakura yelped, dazed.

Sasuke smirked smugly, feeling oddly proud with himself.

"We're going to my house," (and make like rabbits.)

So off they went, mission forgotten, and, strangely, they never DID find Mr. Fuz.

………………………Somewhere Not to Far Away……………………………………………….

Kakashi stood behind a tree, holding a check board. He chuckled slyly as he checked SasuSaku off his list. Naruto SO owed him fifty bucks….

………………………………………THE END!...

That's it peoples, I want to thank all my reviewers. I probably wouldn't have ever finished this story with out you guys, give yourselves a pat on the back!!!!

SEE YA!


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